There's Quite A Lot Of Bad Stuff Written About Me

When you survey the ongoing wreckage that constitutes the UK's General Election for 2010, the first thought that immediately springs to mind is, "You know. There just aren't enough rich, opinionated twats offering up stupid suggestions."

Cue Michael Caine.

Stepping out from David 'Man Of The People' Cameron's shadow like the fellow multi-millionaire he is, he's giving his support to Dave's "non-military", voluntary National Service.

Well surely its not fucking National Service then? Or are we only using the term to get the readers of the Daily Fail Mail on board? They see the words 'National' and 'Service' occurring within the same sentence and immediately start foaming at the mouth in excitement. They can feel their "Why Oh Why" letter taking shape as the smell of burning cortex fills the air.

After all, it's not enough that unemployment amongst 18-24 year olds is particularly acute, with one in five white youths and a shocking one in two black youths not in work or training.

It's not enough either that those who do go to university come out the other end saddled with debt that will be hard to shake off when the best you are offered is unpaid or low paid internships to, try not to laugh, 'kick start your career'. Who would've thought that slave labour was a career choice?

I don't suppose its even sufficient that if these poor unfortunate youngsters are lucky enough, if that's the right word, to join the world of wage slavery then they won't be able to afford a house and that their pensions will be largely worthless.

No, what they really need, is a prick like Michael Caine telling them what's good for them. Just like a politician.

This is the same man that referred, last year, to the unemployed as "three and a half million layabouts laying about on benefits" (that'll be the unemployment career option) while he was "getting up at six o'clock in the morning to go to work to keep them." The same man who lived much of the 70s and 80s as a tax exile - obviously wasn't too keen on 'keeping' anyone then either. And the same man who has threatened to move back to the States if income tax goes over 50%. Well, it's understandable what with him only being worth a paltry £45m.

Maybe he's trying to be the English Sean Connery. He's so fond of Scotland and the SNP that he doesn't even fucking live there.

I will agree with Caine on one count though. We do need to 're-educate these youngsters'. In the ways of self-reliance, self-education, self-organisation and autonomy. Lets give them hope through anarchy.