All I Do Each Night Is Pray

I get fucking fed-up of positive thinking. What is the point of thinking positive without following that thought through to action? It has become the Secular Prayer: If only I think positively enough about something then the hidden forces that rule the universe will make something good come to pass. Amen.

No, they fucking won't. Not without you doing something.

So I've just sat through a decade of positive thinking and it seems apparent that the majority of the major problems facing humanity, as we go into 2010, are pretty much similar to the ones we started 2000 with. (And I'm not referring to the bullshit 'security of our nation' bollocks we have been subjected to by our 'democracies' under the mystical threat of Al-Qaeda). But I bet a load of self-help guru type authors have made a mint punting those books, eh?

But where I am going with this?

Well, I've been there before, nearly two years ago now, but it's time to go back. Back to The Reality Gap.

You know what I am talking about. If we put enough positive spin on something then even a turd can come out gleaming. (Yes Mandelson, that means you.) But this endless optimism is getting us nowhere. Governments promise all and deliver nothing. Beauty products with micro-inflatable-collagen-uv-filter-beads that will make you look all of two minutes younger because, after all, you're worth it. The next plasma TV you get will be better than the last, only, it will still have the same 600 shit channels pumping garbage direct into your brain. But boy, what a clear picture. The new iPhone has a screen 2mm bigger than the last one. Well, my life is complete. Until the next one comes out obviously.

And there it is. The heady capitalist mix of The Next Thing You Buy providing fulfillment combined with positive thinking and the saturation advertising driving those inate purchasing desires.

Well, the advertising and marketing hype and media propaganda pumped from every available still or moving surface is deluding you. The government isn't going to save us, you aren't going to win the lottery, you won't marry a film/pop star and you won't ever play for your favourite team. Deal with it.

What you can be sure of is death. The rest is pretty much up to you.

So when you see a pair of pants like this for sale:

Keep your dreams in perspective and remember that one day you will probably end up wearing the married mans version below:

Just like mine.