Them And Us

Fred Goodwin enjoys a stroll on a rainy Edinburgh day.

The BBC has published a couple of interesting stories relating to the ongoing debacle that is Royal Bank of Scotland.

The first discloses how Sir Fred Goodwin's (ironic name huh? 'goodwin') pension arrangements were wangled and tweaked with all manner of top-ups, tax breaks and bonuses in order to reach the staggering figure of £700k a year. That's his pension remember - now, at age 50.

Here are some examples:

- Freddy joined RBS aged 40 but the group treated him as though he joined aged 20 for the purposes of the final salary pension scheme (jeez - remember them? final salary pensions - theres a blast from the past)
- While he was at the bank he was to accrue pension at twice the rate of ordinary members (or plebs if you prefer), that is 2/60ths instead of 1/60ths
- Any shortfall in entitlement or limitation on pensionable salary (damn that pesky Tax Man) would be made up directly from the banks own FURBS: thats Funded Unapproved Retirements Benefits Scheme or Fuck U Real Bank employeeS as I prefer it
- Finally, the bank effectively agreed to pay the 40% tax bill he could expect if he took any lump sum out of his pension

So for 10 years work in bringing the bank to near collapse and forcing it to come cap in hand to us, as taxpayers, he has been rewarded with a pension 'pot' of £16m. I wonder what he would have got if he had actually done his job well...


The second story really takes the biscuit for a supreme illustration of how far removed from any semblance of reality the likes of Goodwin or, in this case, the deputy chief executive Gordon Pell really are.

Apparently Mr Pell thinks the row over Freddy's pension has become a 'distraction'. Thats right, a 'distraction'. He reckons that "history would recognise his many skills and huge contribution" - yes, his huge contribution to Great Depression 2 no doubt.

Mr Pell also said it was hard to raise staff morale when all this nasty, horrid stuff about Fred was appearing daily in the papers. I don't suppose the low morale had anything to do with their pay and pension arrangements as compared with Freds, the near-collapse of the company or, heaven forbid, the impending round of job cuts that RBS has instituted. 2700 employees will soon have more time on their hands to read all about the positive things RBS is doing. You know, positive things like announcing massive losses, things like paying off their former boss with obscene amounts of cash and things like announcing 2700 job cuts. I wonder if all those employees will be able to retire at 50 as well...

If you happen to know where Goodwin or Pell live, feel free to send them a dog shit in the post from me.