Ye, ye, I know the picture is American in origin but given that we are the 51st State it is appropriate. And you can bet your bottom dollar (Oh, I'm on fire with these US crossover references!) that whatever we suffer they either already are or will be shortly...Guess what people? It is no longer profitable enough to employ you. That's right, you heard. Clear your desk, your cubicle or whatever and get your sorry ass out of my sight. Don't give me any bleeding heart stories about "a roof over your head" or "mouths to feed" because I have heard them all before. My CEO needs to renew his golf club membership and our shareholders are shitting bricks over the falling stock market so you have to make sacrifices.
As for the rest of you, you can expect extra work, your expenses cut and unpaid overtime and if you don't like it you know where the door is. And do not let me catch any of you taking time off sick - however genuine. We are all in this together - apart from the politicians, the Royals, the board members, the landed gentry, the rich and the powerful of course. They're special: you ain't. We need profit people (well, you don't need profit - you just need a wage) and that profit is gonna get flayed out of your skin whether you like it or not. Just shut the fuck up and get on with it.
And do not even think of unionising. All I am doing is using this downturn to provide "a ready-made external rationale to justify painful decisions that would appear extreme in better times." Now get back to work.
9 comments:
Word.
I know things are bad, but there seems to be quite a few folks out there making hay while the sun implodes.
Great blog. You articulate so eloquently what so many of us feel. Keep up the good work
@ Weiss - You're one of those union troublemakers aren't you? Well, I'm watching you Weiss. We don't need you "solidarity" types with your demands for higher wages and better conditions - I'm not running a charity here. You mark my words Weiss - this downturn will give me the excuse I need to get rid of you. Now, GET BACK TO WORK!
@ anonymous - Shit. Your comment blew me away. Thank you very much. You'll need to imagine a 'humble smiley' 'cause I don't know how to draw one.
We had a "huddle" at work a few weeks back where it was emphasised that we need to keep time-off at a minimum if we want to secure our jobs, so when my dad died last week I'm left worrying that if I take time off to grieve I'd be left unemployed at the end of it.
Luckily the shock of the whole thing largely left me not really caring that much.
Personal priorities are what you end up with. That CEO needs his golf club membership just as much as I need natural yogurt and if it comes down to it we'll have to fight over it. Pity I don't have his muscle, but that's the way of the world: Survival of the fittest. I wish we'd stop confusing and deluding people by trying to pretend anything else.
Aye, don't get sick, cause even if you're hemorrhaging blood and need to be hospitalized over the weekend and can't go to work for three days due to extreme anemia AND even you're lucky to have health insurance, you still won't be considered for re-hiring next school year as you're now a health-risk.
Messiah Obama can't save you soon enough. But get back to work now so they can fire you as soon as the school year ends and they'll let you know it in oh so many ways. All perfectly legal.
(true story - of my wife, happened two weeks ago)
xoxo,
Tart
@ PRAEst76 - sorry to hear about your Dad. And the shit that caused you with your work - a real mess all round that you just don't need right now.
@ Tart - And your story's no better and I am sorry to hear about your wife too. Looks like the downturn will be the excuse to get away with all sorts of shit - like bitterandrew said at the top.
People have gotta look out for each other so it doesn't end up 'survival of the fittest'. We're gonna need mutual aid more than ever.
I think we're all fucked. I think that as bad as things are right now, they are gonna get a fuckload worse. A fuckload as big as Rosie O'Donnel's ass.
Up until this past month, we've been training to get in the ring with Mike Tyson circa 1986. It was all conceptual... Hey, we'll go in the ring and get hit a couple of times, go down, it'll be unpleasent and then we'll be back to normal. With a pocketful of green dead presiden's to heal our wounds.
Guess what... We just took the rib shot that Michael Spinks got ... The only problem is... There's no count-out, no 8 second standing count, and no 3 minute rounds. It's a steel cage death match, and no way out.
We're just gonna keep getting hit and hit again, until our blood is all over the ring, our teeth are knocked out, and we're all punch drunk, wandering the streets looking for a handout.
So suicide pills all round then? Or will we try and look for a way to enjoy life without demon money?
@ Nazz - I spose it depends on your personal definition of "worse" in a sense. If worse means less greed and more co-operation, less consumerism and more focusing on shit that really matters then bring it on. But if worse means we keep the 'me, me, me' attitude but combine it with the desperation that only full-blown recession/depression can induce then ye, we might well be fucked.
And who is Rosie O'Donnel? More important, is her ass big in a shapely way (nice) or big in a lumpy way (yugh)?
@ PRAEst76 - you hang in there fella. I've got your name down for the anarchist commune "Will Work For Food & Lodgings" I intend to fire up somewhere in the Scottish Highlands once the perma-rioting kicks off. Don't let me down.
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