One Thousand Violins - Hey Man That's Beautiful (LP)

Having lived in Edinburgh most of my life I have been subject to the worst excesses of inspiration-lacking "fireworks and drink" New Years celebrations - most of them spent amidst a sweaty crush of bodies (and no, not in a good way) suffering either wind and rain or bitter cold as the Scottish Winter saw fit to provide. I feel no pangs of regret then, when I see the News reports of 'How the World is Celebrating New Year' by showing one Capital city after another with the ubiquitous 'spectacular fireworks display' and the vomiting crowds, that I am not currently staggering around Manchester city centre.

I detest all the enforced, organised gaiety expected of a few hours on one specific day of the year. The expectation surrounding New Year nearly always meant it didn't live up to scratch and bear in mind that you are not asking much - after all, you are steaming drunk. Spontaneity has always been the best catalyst for fun I find (or mild drugs) and I am not, by nature, a "fun" person (ED - Really? You do surprise me) so the torturous rituals really were hours I was never going to get back. The Scots habit of shaking hands with every bastard you meet for a few days afterwards irked as well. It is just another day, just another year - nothing more.

I recall one in particular where New Year's Eve fell on a Sunday and my girlfriend of the time and I were so disorganised that we had not bought any booze. Of course the licensing hours in the UK were, at the time, more restrictive and we could not, for the life of us, buy drink. An argument ensued, which always helps I find, followed by much indecision and boredom. At one point, despite it being relatively quiet, I was even refused to be served in Deacon Brodies Tavern on account of my appearance - not my drunkenesss you understand but my Gothness. 'We can't serve you looking like that' was the comment. I still harbour a grudge so if you are in Edinburgh feel free to post them a turd or, if you are feeling ambitious, fire bomb the place.

All that said, I would not wish to rain on your own personal New Year parade so feel free to download the following musical accompaniment and consider it my own best attempt at a 'fun' album to get your party/get together/orgy going.


One Thousand Violins - Hey Man That's Beautiful (LP)
(Immaculate Records IMMACLP1 1988)

1. All Aboard The Love-Mobile
2. A Place To Surf
3. Hey Man That's Beautiful
4. Halcyon Days
5. Thanks For Nothing
6. Locked Out Of The Love-In
7. Let Me Charm The Pants Off Your World
8. If Only Words
9. Start Digging My Grave Sugar
10. No-One Was Saving The World

One Thousand Violins - pwd: c4ctusm0uth

Thanks Kevan

Kevan has set up a MySpace page for Dormannu - whose records I have previously posted - and done some splendid work besides.

Over to you Kevan:

"I'm also in contact with Simeon(vocals) and Mark Tinley who sent me their John Peel Sesssion. I can upload it to sendspace and send you the link, if you want...

Mark Tinley and Marcus Scott were also in the Batcave bands Tabatha's Nightmare and Let's Wreck Mother. I have two track by both bands which I would also be happy to share with you...

Here is Dormannu's John Peel Session.

These are the two live tracks of Tabatha's Nightmare.

This is the Let's Wreck Mother 2 track demo. They have a 7'' out there somewhere called 'Cut', but I've never been able to find a copy.

Mark Tinley of Dormannu, Let's Wreck Mother, and Tabatha's Nightmare was also in this hip hop/punk band called Diskord Datkord with his brother Adam and Johnny Slut of the legendary batcave band Specimen."

Which means of course that Adam Tinley is Adamski (that was a "penny dropping" moment for me) - how it all fits together...

In Edinburgh

In Edinburgh

I'm in the Botanic Gardens gallery
a man pushes past me
to look at a beautiful picture
without saying pardon.
I want to point a sizzling finger
and make his arteries harden
to the stiffness of the depicted stone,
a feeling Festival artists are known
to have directed at the Press
which has been putting a picture
alongside the stinkingest review
to make the unwitting performer think
'oh look it's me'
and then be
particularly unpleasantly surprised
by the accompanying poison.

John Hegley - website

Zig Zag Dec 1983 - X-Mal Deutschland

Mighty Mighty - Built Like A Car (EP)

More of the same from Mighty Mighty. Enjoy.


Mighty Mighty - Built Like A Car (EP)
(Chapter 22 Records 21CHAP12 1987)

1. Built Like A Car
2. Twilight
3. I Don't Need You Anymore
4. Love So Strong

Mighty Mighty - pwd: c4ctusm0uth

Gordo's Pissmas Christtake

Gordo tells British Public: "Look into my eyes, look into my eyes - do not look around the eyes and ... you're under. You are idiots with short-term memories. Your ignorance is my strength. You don't need to worry yourselves - everything will be alright. Keep spending money you haven't got and the UK economy will ride that debt-bubble baby. It's all going to be OK."

In his pre-Christmas message El Gordo really took the piss. On Wednesday he suggested that the ongoing data-loss fiasco and Labour's love of dodgy donations would "soon be forgotten" by the British public, that his tripartite system of fiscal management would cover the £57bn of public money now propping up Northern Rock and that the "fundamentals of the British economy ...... remain sound". In suitably woolly terms he pledged "to focus on the long term challenges and what matters to the people of this country." - what, so concentrate on things like privacy and data protection, trust in government and not wasting public money bailing out private businesses you mean? He added "People know when a problem arises we will deal with it..." - oh my aching sides, a bare-faced lie if ever I heard one. They are the cause of half the problems this country faces.

He also claimed that black was white, up was down and that fairies lived at the bottom of his garden. Twat.

You Are Worthless

Birmingham Chamber of Commerce claims its Mission is "Building a better and brighter Birmingham by creating a great environment in which to start and run a business". Got that? Building a better and brighter Birmingham by starting and running a business - ok. So why, then, are they having a meeting in January for companies that want to "explore how offshoring can benefit their business"? They sent out a letter highlighting the fact that "Offshoring - relocating all or part of your business processes overseas - is now a realistic option......" In other words, if Birmingham wage costs are too high for you then why not move your operation overseas where you can exploit take advantage of low wage costs and get away from all this pesky regulation. Not sure how that helps Birmingham long term though....

On the other hand, you may find, soon enough, that there is no need to offshore. Unscrupulous bastards bosses have already learnt that vulnerable groups - migrant workers, the elderly and disabled - are already here waiting to be exploited. They aren't going to let silly little things like statutory workplace rights get in the way of their greed - course not and the governments cack-handed approach to workers rights need not concern them. The four government bodies charged with enforcing workplace laws are too busy tripping over each other to worry about enforcement.

To them you are only a commodity. Get organised, get unionized.

Right Royal Top Trumps Pt 2

Highlander Productions Inc, under the Cactus Mouth Games (UK) subsidiary, is delighted to be able to bring you the next two cards for your set.

And what a pair of cards I think you'll agree. These two characters are both from the same long family line of in-breds and free-loaders but are in charge of different countries. Points for getting the countries, with double points up for grabs for getting the family name - how exciting!

Once again the commitment to detail on these delightful Top Trumps is staggering. Look at the way I forgot to de-italicise the font when righting Mags card - simply breathtaking. Notice the way Harry's portrait is slightly longer - that isn't to reflect his status, that's because I cocked-up. But looking at him jumped-up in all his finery, like some deluded peacock-general, I think he's worth it. Now, must get back to my copy of 'Get-A-Life' monthly....

Life In The Dark Ages

Big Al came up Right Royal Top Trumps today when he pardoned a rape victim (you all know the story by now surely?). The whole idea of 'pardoning a rape victim' from a custodial sentence and 200 lashes strikes me as ludicrous in the extreme - a pardon for a victim of gang-rape, riiigghhhtt.... It remains unclear whether her male companion, who was also raped, was similarly pardoned.

So any hands played today with Big Al will score double points in 'honour' of the Big Man.


"The Only Church That Illuminates Is A Burning Church."

One Thousand Violins - All Aboard The Love-Mobile (EP)

This post is similar in origin to the Leather Nun post. The track I am really after by One Thousand Violins is 'Please Don't Sandblast My House'. It has taken on legendary, nay, mythological proportions inside my head as I first heard it on the same nameless radio show as 'Pink House' and I do not recall hearing it since. That said, and despite not being able to recall the name of the show, I can still hear a good few lines of melody in my head complete with words. Quite an accomplishment given the time-span. I have seen copies on eBay on occasion but have not yet 'won' one. There is an ongoing advert but I am unsure whether I want to part with a fiver for a 7" from a record shop (is that tight?) - I would rather get a bargain at 99p from another eBayer. I daresay I will convince myself and buy from the shop. Hopefully I won't be disappointed.

The track 'Like One Thousand Violins', which made it into the 1985 Festive 50, is available at Take The Pills along with a brief history of the band.

UPDATE! I have just discovered that the link at Take The Pills above is actually the entire compilation CD titled 'Like One Thousand Violins' - fucking bonus! Listening to 'Please Don't Sandblast My House' as I type and it sounds just like, and just as good as, I remember. What a superb end to the day.


One Thousand Violins - All Aboard The Love-Mobile (EP)
(Immaculate Records 12IMMAC7 1988)

1. All Aboard The Love-Mobile
2. A Place To Surf
3. The Only Time I Got To Rock Was In My Granny's Chair

One Thousand Violins - pwd: c4ctusm0uth

Best Days Of Your Life

The latest applicant for the Boys & Girls Club was told, in no uncertain terms, that 'his sort weren't welcome round here'.

Despite reports demonstrating the inherent value of after-school clubs in enhancing, and building upon, a childs education, they are closing down in the areas that need them most. Even in areas where the clubs are maintained family income will play a key role in a child's attendance. This is despite government pledges and, surprise, surprise, targets to have all of England's schools offering such clubs by 2010.

As a nation we continue to fail those people who would probably most benefit - poor or deprived children. It stands to reason that the earlier in life you are given a helping hand, the better the long term outcome will be for all.

Further evidence of the link between parental income and a child's educational achievement was contained in a study for the Sutton Trust. In addition to demonstrable differences in primary children, at the other end, 44% of young people from the richest 20% of households were awarded degrees in 2002, while only 10% from the poorest 20% were. The study also looked at social mobility and the UK, alongside the US, ranks near the bottom for developed countries.

The top heavy nature that wealth continues to exert is evident in the Houses Of Parliament when you look at the private school (particularly Eton) - Oxford/Cambridge route to politics that many MP's have followed. We continue to allow ourselves to be governed by a minority group who take care of themselves, their money and their business partners and who are not representative of the populace at large.

Lets try this instead.

Zig Zag Jan 1984 - Einsturzende Neubaten

As requested Darren.

Mackenzies - A Sensual Assault (EP)

I remember seeing Mackenzies live on some obscure Scottish music program in the mid 80's. Can't remember the name of it (there's a surprise) but the same program also had the Shop Assistants live and the video for 'You Trip Me Up' by The Jesus And Mary Chain so it was revolutionary broadcasting for those days. I watched 'You Trip Me Up' over and over, it blew my teenage head off.

Mackenzies were a different matter however. At the time I thought they sounded not dissimilar to Stump - seemingly jilted rhythms with instruments thrown at an angle across the underlying sound. They were my least favourite of the show which meant they didn't receive any funding from the record buying department (my pocket). It wasn't that I disliked them, just that funds were limited and they dropped off the radar.

The 'Sensual Assault' EP was a nothing if not interesting find then on eBay. On listening to the record and not even vaguely recognising the noise emanating from my headphones, I began to wonder at the prospect of 2 mid-80's bands with the same name on the same label but producing different music- very different music. That seemed just a little far fetched though. Thinking it through I came to the conlusion that my younger self had no reference points for the type of music Mackenzies were making - their take on funk. With no prior experience, and in my limited Indie world, funk was a stranger (I thought they sounded like Stump ffs) and so the difference, on hearing Mackenzies now, is the result of the intervening years of music appreciation and absorption. Quite a revelation in the end then.


Mackenzies - A Sensual Assault (EP) (Ron Johnson Records ZRON15 1987)

1. Mealy Mouths
2. Trouble
3. Mealy Mouths (Radio Edit)
4. Jim Jam

Mackenzies - pwd: c4ctusm0uth

Untitled

Untitled

I saw a man this morning
Who did not wish to die:
I ask, and cannot answer,
If otherwise wish I.

Fair broke the day this morning
Against the Dardanelles;
The breeze blew soft, the morn's cheeks
Were cold as cold sea-shells.

But other shells are waiting
Across the Aegean Sea,
Shrapnel and high explosive,
Shells and hells for me.

O hell of ships and cities,
Hell of men like me,
Fatal second Helen,
Why must I follow thee?

Achilles came to Troyland
And I to Chersonese:
He turned from wrath to battle,
And I from three days' peace.

Was it so hard, Achilles,
So very hard to die?
Thou knowest and I know not--
So much the happier am I.

I will go back this morning
From Imbros over the sea;
Stand in the trench, Achilles,
Flame-capped, and shout for me.

Patrick Shaw-Stewart - killed in action, 1917

Bugger

I was going to post 'How Green Is The Valley' by The Men They Couldn't Hang. Had ripped the vinyl, cleaned up side A, scanned the sleeve and then did a quick Google. Realised that Humppazoid's House post pissed all over my one LP effort so, for your fix of The Men They Couldn't Hang, linked up to that instead.

Benny Dict's Cut-Price Deals

Those pesky Islamists keeping you awake at night?
Not sure whether you want to be reincarnated into the mess you're leaving behind?

Well, stop worrying and start believing - Hallejulah! Catholicism is the religion that just keeps on giving and boy! have I, Benny Dict, got a giveaway for you! Right now, down here at Benny Dict's Cut-Price Deals, we've got Indulgences a-plenty. Especially commissioned, by God himself (he rang me - "Benny," he said, "We've got to celebrate this sucker!"), to mark the 150th anniversary of the Virgin Mary's appearance at Lourdes - these Indulgences will give you full pardon of the temporal punishment due to sins already forgiven in confession!! Yes, thats right! FULL PARDON - YeeHaa!

Get your guilty Catholic ass down to Lourdes Benny Dict's Cut-Price Deals for this and many other UNBELIEVABLE offers. We've got reductions on Purgatory Time, we've got Miraculous Waters, we've even got Life After Death. All this crazy shit and more besides down at Benny Dict's Cut-Price Deals.

What are you waiting for? Christmas!?!?

Coupon valid until 8th December 2008 and is redeemable, on presentation, at Lourdes, France. No cash alternative will be given and Protestants need not apply.

The Danse Society - 3 Singles

I like The Danse Society a lot. Whilst still collecting records, a good 10 years ago, I made a point of obtaining all of their available songs on vinyl. I was also lucky enough to purchase one of the earlier CD re-releases of the album 'Heaven Is Waiting' (PIP CD024). But that purchase is also why why I don't yet have digital copies of 'Endless' and 'Seen The Light' despite their recent inclusion on the Cherry Red reissue. This post then consists of three unavailable tracks ('The Sway', 'Hold On', 'Danse Move') and three available tracks ('Endless', '2000 Light Years', 'Seen The Light') but it lets me continue ripping vinyl and moving, what remains of, my record collection along. The 1984 tracks are all classic Danse Society - atmospheric, angry, tuneful, edgy and, if you'll excuse the pun, 2000 Light Years away from the dreadful 1986 tracks. It pains me to say it but they show a band in a commercial nose-dive - polished, over-produced, Pop-py in a bad way. The record just screams 'trying too hard'. The back cover has naff posed band pictures and the less said about Steve Rawlings hair the better. The B-Side is a murdered version of 'Danse Move' which conjures up images of Kurtz haunting whisper "The horror!". The sleeve, rather optimistically, proclaims that 'Danse Move' is 'Taken from the forthcoming Album 'Heaven Again''. As a fan I am glad I didn't have to hear that LP and witness the awful, aural carnage first-hand. The Danse Society - The Sway (Promo Single) (Arista DSF1 1984) The Sway Endless The Sway - pwd: c4ctusm0uth The Danse Society - 2000 Light Years From Home (Single) (Society Records SOC7 1984) 2000 Light Years From Home Seen The Light 2000 Light Years From Home - pwd: c4ctusm0uth The Danse Society - Hold On (Single) (Arista SOC9 1986) Hold On (To What You've Got) Danse Move Hold On - pwd: c4ctusm0uth